Putting An End To ‘Busy’
If you think back over the last week, how many times did you reply ‘good... busy!’, when someone asked how you are?
I hear it so often - from clients, friends and, of course, I hear it come out of my own mouth too.
I genuinely feel busy - I have a young daughter, a social life, a business, family, friends. The thing is I don’t want to feel bored and have nothing to do - I’m grateful for all in my life.
But I also don’t want to use ‘busy’ in a negative way or as an excuse.
So many mums tell me they JUST WANT MORE TIME. (me too!)
But what does that mean? And where is your time going now?
There is maths and then there is drama. Being ‘too busy’ is the drama our brains give us. Tracking your time for a couple of days is maths.
If you’re ‘too busy’, please do me and yourself the favour of tracking your time for a couple of days - I recommend one week day and one weekend day.
Open a note on your phone, or download my tracking template, and jot down a few times a day what you’ve been doing.
Then at the end of each day, I want you to rate out of 10 how much you enjoyed each task.
This will give you the hard data to be able to see what’s working and what’s not - and what you might want to stop doing.
Here’s the 3 most common things I see with my clients’ time audits:
They’re prioritising ‘busy work’
I’ve spoken a lot about the ‘second shift’ in the past - the household labor women do after their paid job is done.
I’m not discounting the labor put on women (I’ll talk about it all day!), but remember, if you look for it, there’s always something to do in your second shift.
Is your house clean? I bet you could take everything out of your kitchen cupboards and clean those out too (please don’t).
I really want you to think about the things you can let slide a little or even delegate… I’ve had 2 examples in the last week or so.
Firstly, I got back from my holidays recently and my general inclination is to unpack and put the washing on once I get in the door. Why? I just got back from holiday. Instead, I made myself a coffee, sat on the couch and read a book with V. The suitcase was still there the next day once I’d had a good sleep and eased back into home life a bit more.
Now, once I got the washing on the next day, I heard the washing machine beep its last beep, just as I was in the middle of writing a blog post. My inclination? Jump up and go hang the washing out. Why? I’m in the middle of something more important to me and the washing will be there in an hour when I’m done.
If you’re not ready to let anything slide this week, at least observe when you might be doing this - either doing things you don’t care about, or interrupting yourself constantly to rush on to a different task.
They’re avoiding what they care about most
For my brain it’s much easier to hang out laundry than it is to write a blog post.
Writing a post takes thought, effort, courage and working through fears.
Who wants to do that when I can just stand in the backyard, pegging t shirts on the clothesline?
So often we deprioritise the things that are important to us for the sake of being busy. And this can also include self-care or relaxation.
I’ve seen this in many areas with clients -
'I have to look after my family so I don’t have time for exercise'
'I have to check my work emails in the evening after dinner, so I don’t have time to read
'I can’t sit on the couch when there are dirty dishes in the sink', and on and on.
The things that scare or challenge us to rest are often the things we push aside, but they are also usually the most rewarding.
What step can you take towards a goal this week, ahead of your busy work?
They’re letting their mind run the show
Have you ever noticed how you can do things on your to do list with pain or ease? Let me give you an example.
Some Sunday afternoons, I cook some meals for the week ahead. I can do it one of two ways.
I try and do it as quickly as possible, multi tasking across recipes, huffing and puffing around the kitchen, watching the clock, lamenting having to cook on a Sunday. I also notice I’m more likely to cut my finger with a knife when I’m in this type of mood. Sounds fun right?
Or I can put on a podcast, pour myself a drink, grab everything out that I need for the first recipe and methodically work through each step in a relaxed way. I admire my handiwork when everything is in tupperware containers and reward myself when I’m all done - with a bath, an episode of a great show or an evening yoga session.
The crazy thing is it usually takes me the same amount of time to meal prep whether I choose option 1 or 2 and guess which one leaves me happier?
If you have chosen to do something somewhat mundane, do you want it to be mentally painful or pain-free? Try it out this week.
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