How To Work With Your Kids Around
I remember when my daughter was around 2 ½, and I was at home for her for the day, doing Play-Doh at our dining table.
I had a work phone call come through and I thought “I can quickly take this” so I spent maybe 3 or 4 minutes on my phone… which we know in toddler time can be enough time to achieve a lot…
I hadn’t yet moved her lunch plate away so after I hung up (probably feeling smug I’d managed to do both parenting and take a work related call at the same time) I turned back and she had taken her leftover yoghurt and smeared it all over the Play-Doh (ew) and all over her face.
I remember immediately losing it, not really because of what she’d done, but because I literally felt like I couldn’t take an important 3 minute phone call without having to pay for it.
I have tried many things since then, and I’m bringing you my best hacks and strategies today.
NO DRAMA PLANNING
When I’m planning, I never put “Work time” on my calendar. Or even “Do the work presentation”.
That’s because I can get to my computer, check some emails, Google something and then the time I had set aside is gone. Or I can sit down and think “hmm, I don’t know what to do this presentation about…I’ll just answer this email instead.”
This is literally what happens. A lot of my coaching is about how our brain works and if this happens to you too, it’s totally normal.
So what I do instead is…
Everything on my calendar is broken down to a “no drama” task
Everything on my calendar is written to produce a result by the end of the time
So rather than “create a presentation” on my calendar I will write “Brainstorm presentation for 15 mins”; “Research 2 statistics to support my presentation for 30 mins”; “Create draft slides for 30 minutes.”
Notice these are pretty short periods of time.
This will help get you out of the mindset that I have to finish a huge task when you start it. Work on it in short bursts and if you get it done early, it’s a bonus.
This is very tangible to my brain and much less dramatic to me than creating a work presentation, which is actually many little tasks – like choosing a topic, any research, writing it, finding images, making slides,... it’s a lot of stuff.
So we want small tasks that our brain knows exactly how to do, and we want a tangible thing that will be done by the end of the time – so in my examples: the topic brainstormed, the statistics found, the slides drafted.
It’s too easy to sit down for work time with kids around and be like… “oh I didn’t finish my work presentation, I’ll have to find another time in the week to finish it.”
You want to sit down and easily know how to do the task, work within the allocated time and have the tangible thing done by the end of it! You will feel so productive and much more relaxed going back to your kids.
Expect to feel annoyed
One of the major topics in my coaching is around feelings and not fighting our feelings.
I used to do this a lot – I would resist my daughter chanting “mum mum mum” while I was trying to focus on a work task, and then I’d eventually lose it and say “What?” and literally startle her.
I’d recommend over the next week, noting down what happens at each work session – like a scientist just gathering data, rather than a totally annoyed mum.
Our brains love to use blanket statement things, like “I can never get any work done” or “My kids are constantly interrupting me” and that may be true, but let’s get some facts over the next week.
It might be Monday for example – I got an hour to do work; Tuesday my little one woke up from their nap after 20 minutes, Wednesday went as planned, but Thursday my daughter came into the study twice and asked for snacks. Actual hard facts we can work with!
What we want to do is identify the triggers for you. For me, Thursdays mornings I used to find myself losing it a lot, as it was later in the week for me so I was a bit tired, my daughter had been at two days of childcare so she was losing it a bit by Thursday too.
Rather fight with it every week, I’d think, “hmm on Thursday mornings I get annoyed. What can I do? I can shift my block to the evening instead. I can let her play a special game on my iPad. I can set her up next to me with her toy laptop. I can do really easy things on Thursday that I don’t mind if they’re not done that day.”
So write your week down and note down what happens, how you felt and then pick your main triggering day that leaves you feeling annoyed or angry and make a change for the next week.
I know these tips will help you become that career person and mum you want to be – someone productive yet relaxed and not losing it at the kids.
So:
1. Break down your work blocks into smaller “no drama” tasks, with results that will be created by the end of your time working
2. Note down over the next week how your working time goes with your kids around and then make a tweak to the one you feel is most challenging
DM me @georgiebryantcoaching with what you discover! And if you’d prefer to hear this in audio form, you can download my private podcast, The Time-Savvy Toddler Mum.
