How Your Brain Works Around Goals
AN EXAMPLE GOAL
One of my clients came to me last year – she’d been offered a promotion at work she’d been working for, and she was freakinggg out.
On one hand she was really flattered and knew she could do the job with a bit of extra training (let’s call that the “Wise Owl” part of her)
On the other hand, she didn’t want the job at all.
She was replacing someone she really respected, she was scared her peers were going to turn against her if she moved up the ranks and she imagined making lots of mistakes and being found out by senior management (let’s call this part of her the “Barking Dog”).
I let her go there with the Barking Dog in our session.
MY CLIENT’S DOUBTS
We went there with her fears and doubts and answered each of them with the Wise Owl’s perspective.
What would happen if she was worse than her predecessor? (She probably would be as her predecessor had more experience than her, but she still wanted to try)
What would happen if her peers turned against her? (She’d find out who her real friends were at work)
What would happen if she made mistakes? (She had a supportive boss so it would probably be OK)
I wasn’t trying to make her feel better though. I was showing her how her brain works.
HOW YOUR BRAIN WORKS
During our session, I let her know we need both the Wise Owl and the Barking Dog parts of us.
The Wise Owl is our pre-frontal cortex – it’s the more advanced part of our brain. It can plan, make decisions and reassure us of our worth.
The Barking Dog is the more primitive part of our brain – it’s designed to keep us safe (aka don’t step in front of a bus, or walk in front of that snake, we need that right?).
But the Barking Dog also likes to start barking very loudly when we try something new.
HOW TO STOP OVERTHINKING
Apply this to something you're overthinking or a goal you’re scared about at the moment.
I said to her (and say to you now): Expect that you’re going to freak out. It means your brain is working perfectly well.
The Barking Dog wants you to make sure you’re aware of the risks.
However, if you ignore it / push it away, it just gets louder (enter: overthinking).
Instead, you can let it know “yup, I’ve heard you and either I’m going ahead with it, or the risks are too great and I won’t, so thanks for raising that.”
Keep an ear out for your Wise Owl and Barking Dog this week.
Understanding both parts will help you understand your overthinking so much more.
