The Number One Question To Ask Your Inner Critic

A client came to me last week, lamenting how busy she is at work. She let me know she was “keeping on top of everything”, but based on the sheer volume of tasks and her available time, she was worried about the quality of work she was producing for her clients.

I asked her, “Have you had any negative feedback from clients about the quality of your work?”

She answered, “No.”

Another client told me she was struggling to balance parenting and work. She’d had to keep her son home from school for a day, while also attending a few work meetings. She knew he would watch a couple of movies that day, but felt racked with guilt for not paying enough attention to him and depending on a screen to keep him entertained and quiet.

I asked her, “Did your son act out, or tell you that he hadn’t had enough time with you that day?”

She answered, “No.”

One of my favourite questions to ask my clients (and myself!) is, “Is that true?”

Based on these two examples, it will usually stop our inner critic in its tracks and help us reflect on what’s going on in our own minds, rather than in reality.

We can be our greatest critics and think for sure we know what other people are thinking of us. But it seems without direct feedback, we really don’t.

Next time you are sure you are doing a bad job at something, or your inner critic is going to town on you, step back and ask yourself if it’s true and if anyone has actually given you that feedback.

You’ll be surprised at what the answer is.