Sometimes You Want To Yell
Last week, we were leaving ballet class and heading back to our car that was parked out on the street.
This new class has been a huge success and we were off to celebrate with a juice and shopping for a new big girl bed.
V took off down the street fast. Past numerous driveways and alleyways, I yelled “Stop!” at the top of my lungs and chased after her. She laughed and kept running, while I ran and grabbed her, terrified a car would pull out and knock her over.
We got into the car, me shaken, her receiving my lecture on stopping when I tell her to. I immediately felt like the day was taking a turn for the worse and the shopping trip was probably going to be ruined.
As we drove on to the shopping centre, I started to process the shame I felt at making such a scene outside ballet.
Then I remembered some coaching I’d done on myself. There are times when I want to yell. I want to yell ‘Stop!’ and be serious when she’s in possible danger. I don’t think it’s right to maintain my cool in every situation.
As I cut myself more and more slack I thought of some messages I wanted to share with you here:
Every emotional outburst is not a failure. We’re beginners at parenting and will always be. Every time we parent, we are parenting a new age, with a new child, for the very first time. Maybe you’ve parented a 4 year old three times, but you’re still a beginner each time it comes around for you.
Our brains are mostly geared to be 80% negative and 20% positive, and that will translate to how you view your parenting. Can you start to see the things you’re doing right? Can you start shifting your brain to a more 50/50 balance?
What are you doing right? Was I a great mum for protecting her? How about that awesome juice bar trip I had planned? Oh yes and I’d organised to take her to ballet class, and made sure she’d had a good breakfast before that. How can I focus my brain on those things, rather than the 30 seconds I’d yelled?
This awareness is always the first step to any change in our lives. Our thoughts about ourselves are the lens through which we see the world. They determine how you show up, how you behave, what you say and don’t say and how you feel day to day. They are in your control with just a little redirecting.
If this post struck a chord with you and you want to talk about how to get to the 50/50, you can book a discovery call with me here. We’ll do some coaching and see if we’re a good fit to navigate your parenting journey together.