Why You Lose It (+ 1:1 Coaching is Open!)
Last week’s tip on managing evenings was:
Check in on your emotions!! Why do we not do this?! Once I started doing this I was thinking, wow, my shoulders are up near my ears.
Wow, when I recap the day, I really did a lot and FELT a lot today.
This short check in will really calm down your nervous system and give YOU a hot minute to feel taken care of.
Why do you think you lose it and lash out at your partners or kids? Or cry spontaneously out of nowhere some weeks? (seriously, this happens!)
It’s because you’re not checking in on your feelings…
People tend to do 3 things with negative feelings:
Resist them: I use the analogy of holding a ball under water. You feel stressed or rushed or overwhelmed and you just press on. You’re holding your real emotions under water and we all know what happens to that ball when we release it – it shoots up in the air with a huge splash (aka you losing it)
React to them: this is letting your emotions out in a way that feels good at the time and feels awful later. You feel overwhelmed and you yell, lash out, cry, have a big reaction to things. It feels like you’re releasing the emotion but it feels “out of control.”
Avoid them: hmm, you don’t like feeling stressed or overwhelmed? Grab your phone and disappear into Instagram scrolling! Grab a block of chocolate and start eating! Crack open a bottle of wine! This is super common – you don’t want to feel a negative emotion so you do something to avoid it.
What can you do instead?
FEEL or PROCESS your emotions.
Turn towards yourself when you’re feeling stressed.
Ask yourself what you need.
Put the TV on and take a break from the kids.
Have a glass of water.
Lie on the bed for 5 minutes.
Ask yourself what you're feeling (use the wheel below)
Simple things that stop the above things happening.
This is something I walk clients through in 1:1 coaching sessions (they always say it is SUPER powerful and helpful) and I have just opened 2 private coaching spaces.
Private Coaching is Open!
If you are resonating with these topics and want to show up happier and calmer in your life, coaching is 100% the way there.
Click on the calendar and book a call (and email me if there’s no time that suits you!)
“For the first time, since starting coaching with you, I feel like I'm on track with where I want to be. I'm not going really hard in one area and feeling good there and then dropping everything else. I'm feeling good in ALL areas.
I feel like I've got much more balance at the moment, which to be honest, I haven't thought for over eight years, since having kids. So in the short time that we've been working together it's totally changed this."
–– Leena
Have a great week!
PS: I have just opened TWO private coaching spaces. Book a call here to talk through the process and get started with me right away!