When Minimal Self Care is All You Can Manage

A lot of people say they are in disbelief about my morning routine.

They roll out of bed and straight into their day, and roll straight back into bed at night after all the chores are done.

They tell me I’m too positive and that I can’t actually enjoy getting up at 6am to take care of myself when I could be sleeping instead.

What I’ve realised recently is that looking after myself is the entire foundation of what keeps my life ticking in the way I want it to.

I don’t even like to think about where I’d be without my self care practices, because I know I’m not going to let them go.

But if I could take a guess for you, I imagine I’d feel like I’m always rushing, like I have no breathing space and frankly, that I’m not enjoying my days.

This may sound like you. You may tell yourself that you have no time for self care.

But I promise, you can learn how to prioritise yourself, which will mean you’ll have much more mindful and balanced days.

Here’s why it’s not happening already.

You’re stuck in the same story about self care

Of the thousands of thoughts you have per day, around 95% of those thoughts are the SAME as the day before. What?!

I mean some of that makes sense in terms of remembering to brush our teeth and eat and so on, but it got me thinking.

If I tell myself I’m busy and have no time for myself every single day, I’m almost 100% likely to tell myself the same thing on default tomorrow.

Now you may not be able to disrupt that default and jump to “I have an abundance of time and plenty of time for myself”, but what about something like “I’m willing to believe I have some time for myself every day.”

I can see your shoulders relaxing and jaw unclenching as you say that one.

You don’t have self care ideas

When you do come across pockets of time for yourself, observe how you spend them.

Do you grab your phone and flop on the couch? Do you grab a bag of chips or a glass of wine?

These things are fine if you feel recharged afterwards, but the point of self care is to … feel like you’ve taken care of yourself.

I encourage my clients to keep a list in their phone with ideas of activities that make them feel cared for.

Reading, yoga, dancing, a hot shower, whatever works for you, add to your list as you think of ideas. Then when those pockets of time come across your day, you already have the list ready to go.

You’ll feel more fulfilled than depending on the default habits that may help you zone out, but leave you feeling less than cared for.

You don’t guard your self care time

Often when we get those pockets of free time, we also think “Oh, I’ll just empty the dishwasher quickly / put the washing on / pack the kids’ bags” and suddenly our own care is out the window again.

Ideally I’d love you to have chosen times each day (they might be morning, evening or nap time) that you keep for your self care and get to know what you like to do in those times. If sleep is the answer, that’s perfect too, but be intentional about what you’re choosing.

Don’t give it away to more chores or work or guilt yourself for taking a break.

You may not believe it just yet, but your own self care is more important than anything.

You don’t just have to guard it from external factors, you have to guard it from yourself.

I’ll say it again for you - your self care is more important than anything.

It’s likely that you’re stuck in a story about how you have no time for it. Or you don’t know what to do when you have time, or maybe you give away that time to other people.

It takes motivation and commitment to prioritise yourself, but if you want to feel more present, in control and mindful, I can’t think of a better way to get there.

PS: If you’d like more help on how to plan out your self care time, download my guide 3 Steps to Feel Balanced Today.